Strangers on a Train
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: What's up with Rover? Does he LIVE on that train? Yuka the koala thought of him as nothing but a freak, and was probably right. But we will soon learn that when a cat is pushed to the edge, it results in pure dark humor...
1. The First Time It Happens

If someone else wrote an evil Rover story, I'm sorry! I didn't check every single AC fic out there!

* * *

One snowy winter day, Yuka the snobbish koala was riding on a train. She was a citizen of a town called Pinesville, on the way to a similar town called Pinetown. She had ridden the train several times, but this was the first time she had seen a certain cat. He walked over to her. "Hey! I remember you!" he said.

"That's nice..." said a bored Yuka. "I have no idea who you are."

"Why, I'm Rover! I got you the house you're living in!"

Yuka barely looked up. "You're responsible for that dump?"

Rover looked a bit mad for a second, but looked happy again. "Why, yes! I did help you get..." he looked mad again, "...that dump. I met you on this train a few years ago and found out that you had no place to live. I called my pal Tom Nook who sold you the house. I think I helped you a lot."

"Well, you're welcome, I guess."

"Can I sit down?"

"No."

"Oh, is that seat taken?"

"No."

"So can I sit down?"

"No. You bore me." Rover walked away with a very angry expression, muttering to himself. "I can't believe her! When I met her, she had no home, and no money! She didn't know what she was going to do! I called my buddy, Tom Nook, and got her a place to live! Now I'm a bore, am I!"

Yuka got off the train and walked into Pinetown. On her trip there, she thought nothing about Rover. However, when she got on the train and went back to Pinesville, she found Rover sitting behind her. "Hello, Yuka," said the strange cat.

"Rover! I thought you'd gotten off!"

"Nope, I'm just riding home with my best friend, Yuka!"

Yuka calmly gazed out the window. "I'm not your best friend." Rover twitched. With a forced smile, he said, "Right, I meant my good friend!"

"I'm not your friend period. You're just a freak on a train."

Rover paused. "Well, that's a relationship of some kind, isn't it?"

"No. It isn't."

If anyone could see Rover's brain at the time, they would see it exploding. Rover looked mad. "Okay, Yuka. Just remember...be careful what you say to a stranger on a train."

"This is my stop."

"Goodbye, Yuka!" called Rover.

"You annoy me." Yuka got up and left, unaware that Rover was looking daggers at her. Walking quickly, as she didn't feel like talking to any of the animals, not even the train conductor, Porter, Yuka hurried away from the train station all the way to here house. She lived south of everyone at the very edge of the village. Her house was a bit to the left of the dock, next to the ocean. She sat down inside. "What a dump."

A few weeks later, Yuka took a trip to Pinetown again. On the train, she met a familiar face..."Who are you?" she asked Rover. (Well, maybe not so familiar...)

"I'm Rover...The cat...Remember?

Yuka paused for a long time. "Ah, yes. Why are you still here?"

"No reason."

"You're attracted to me, aren't you?"

Yuka didn't notice Rover was holding a knife behind his back. "I suppose you could put it that way..."

"Get lost, loser," said Yuka. Rover looked hurt. "What did I do?"

"I don't want a disgusting creep like you in love with me."

With pure hatred in his mind, Rover forced a smile. "So now I'm a creep? I thought I was boring."

"You're that, too."

"Oh, look! It's your stop!"

"So it is." Yuka got up and walked off the train.

"I hope I see you again!" called Rover.

"I don't."

* * *

Boy, don't you hate snobs? Let's see what Rover has planned in Chapter 2... 


	2. Rover and Copper

Once again, Yuka went around the town. But a few hours later, on the train, she found herself sitting near Rover...AGAIN. Yuka constantly called people naive, but she was the naive one for not figuring out that something odd was going on with that cat.

"Hello, yet again, Yuka!" said Rover. "You know, I was wondering...are you grateful for me? That I went and called up Tom Nook and gave you a house? That you now have a place to live? You realize that I could have left you out in the open to die?"

"People are suckers. That's all I can say."

Rover had enough at this point. "AAAAAHHHHH! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Did I do something wrong?" Yuka asked, without changing her bored expression. She was indeed a perfect, snobbish, idiot.

"I DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU AND YOU DON'T CARE A BIT!" screamed Rover, still on his frenzy. "WHAT KIND OF AWFUL PERSON ARE YOU!"

"I'm saner than you." Rover screamed again and ripped a chair off the ground with the animal still sitting in at in it and threw it at Yuka. She jumped out of the way and ran off the train, which had reached her home, Pinesville. "Here's my stop!"

Yuka made it out the train's door, but before she could leave the station, Rover plunged his knife into her skirt and the ground, pinning her down. He whipped out another knife (as he was always prepared for this sort of thing) and pointed it at Porter the monkey. "YOU! Take the train and run the brat over!"

Porter looked stunned. "I-I can't do that! Eek eek!"

Rover smiled, happy for a change. "Oh, I have a whole list of things you can do! There's dumping her off a cliff that the train passes over, or drop her down a one-way warp pipe to Bowser's Castle. She'll never get out of there! Then there's the option of just abandoning her somewhere. You know, like a dark forest or cave in Hyrule, or..."

Officer Copper the police dog who was on patrol raced over. "What is this!"

"That cat is trying to kill me!" screamed Yuka.

"You have no evidence," hissed Rover.

"You're about to stab that monkey," Copper pointed out. Rover looked at his knife, and then threw it into the train. "Was not."

"Since I'm a nice police officer, I'll simply give you a restraining order," said Copper, who was indeed nice, but not that smart at times. "You are not to set foot in Pinesville or that train for that matter! You may use it one more time, and only to get home! Then, never come back!"

Rover looked innocent. "Yes, sir...but before I go can I say something? My final words, if you will."

"I suppose," said Copper.

"I'll be back, no matter what Scooby-Doo says!" said Rover. "I'll get Yuka, but not before I get the conductor and anyone who tries to protect them!"

"Scooby-Doo!" gasped Copper. "That remark is racist towards dogs! How would you like it if I called you...um...Top Cat!"

"At least he wasn't a dork. See you later, Yuka!" Rover jumped on the train as it pulled out. The last the animals saw of him was his smiling face disappearing into the tunnel.

There was a long silence. "Well, our lives were boring, anyway," said Porter,

Onboard the train, Rover sadly sat down in his chair. "'Go home,' he says," sighed Rover, looking out the window at the countryside. "I have nowhere else to go..."

Yuka wasn't any happier. She walked home in a dazed state, and fell into bed. "I hate this dump."


	3. Rover's Revenge

That morning, Yuka went off to protect herself. She bought security items at Crazy Redd's Furniture Emporium. Then, she hired her neighbor, Chuck the bull, as a bodyguard. "You ARE paying me, right?"

"As first duty as my bodyguard, you must set up all my security devices," Yuka told him.

"I'm supposed to protect you, not do your chores!"

"Well, I'll be off to Pinetown in the meantime," said Yuka, ignoring him.

"Aren't you worried about Rover?" asked Chuck.

"Of course not! Copper said he couldn't get on the train!"

"But Copper also said that he couldn't come to Pinesville. Why are you brave enough to go on the train, but scared enough to hire me as a bodyguard?"

"The nice thing about you hicks is that it's easy to ignore you," said Yuka, walking up to the station. She was soon on the train. A cat approached her, but it wasn't Rover. It was a girl cat, Blanca, and she didn't have a face!

"My name's Blanca. Can I sit here?"

"You don't have a face!" gasped Yuka.

"Oh dear, it came off again! Could you draw me a good one?"

Yuka got an evil look. She took out a pen and wrote "kick me" on Blanca's face!

"I don't have a mirror with me, so I'll assume it's a good face."

"Oh, it is!" laughed Yuka.

"Thank you, Yuka." Blanca got up and walked away, with the occasional kick from a passenger.

"Wait!" said Yuka. "How did she know my name?"

So Yuka went through Pinetown, forgetting all about Blanca. But as she was looking at the fish in the town museum, she saw another cat. And it wasn't Blanca...as Yuka gazed into the fish tank, Rover swam by. "Well, well, well! If it isn't Yuka!"

Yuka stepped back, wishing she was armed with an axe or something. "Rover! Get away from me!"

Rover climbed out of the tank, and with a demented look on his face, stepped towards Yuka. "Our good friend, Officer Copper, was a bit vague on the law. I'm not on the train, and not in Pinesville. I'm not anywhere I shouldn't be. But you...you're right where I want you..."

"Not anymore!" Yuka ran out of the museum into the snow. The museum was in a remote area, so no one saw her. Yuka saw a house in the distance and thought she was in the clear...until she fell into a pitfall in the snow. She started to climb out, but Rover was upon her in a second, holding a shovel. With some quick scoops, Yuka was buried in the snow up to her neck, unable to escape.

"Don't think that I didn't plan this little meeting!" he said. "I knew you'd be stupid enough to come back to Pinetown! Now to finish what I started."

"I'll freeze out here!" cried Yuka.

"I'll give you one last chance to be nice to me!"

"Why should I be nice to a psycho like you!"

"Ouch," said Rover. "This is gonna hurt me more than it will hurt you." Rover raised his shovel and hit Yuka in the head with it, knocking her out. "Wow, I was wrong! That didn't hurt me at all!"

* * *

I'll say it right now...I'm sorry for Rover's stupid joke. However, this isn't the end of the story! There's more evil cat fun coming up!


	4. Resetti

Yuka awoke in an underground cave. It appeared that Rover had gone overboard with the digging, leaving her there. "I'm trapped down here! That darn cat! What do I do now?"

A weird little mole suddenly popped up. "Who are you?"

The koala was startled. "I'm...Yuka. Who are YOU?"

"The name's Mr. Resetti! Why are you down here?"

"A crazy guy named Rover put me down here!"

The mole looked confused. "Did you say 'Rover?' I knew that guy! Let me guess...you were mean to him."

"I guess I was...it was his fault. He was such a weird guy, so..."

Resetti gave a long sigh. "Rover was always nuts about his feelings. If anyone ever offended him, he started stalking them. The victims were always people he met on the train. Come on, I'll dig you a shortcut home. I'll tell you more about Rover on the way there."

The two started walking down a path that the mole dug. "Anyway, he's been kicked out of just about every town. And even after that, he still tries to follow his victims. He just sits on the train and waits for them to get on."

"Copper told him he couldn't get on the train anymore!"

Resetti whirled around with a shocked look on his face. "HE SAID WHAT!"

"Is that bad?"

"Rover doesn't remember where he lives. He's been on that train for so long. You take away the train, you take away his life. He follows everyone who bugs him around, but he never follows them into the village. He always plots violent acts towards them, but he always chickens out. You're the first person he's attempted to murder."

"How do you know so much about this guy?"

Resetti looked guilty. "He was my friend when we first started to work for Nintendo. But one time, I had a bad day and I snapped on him. He had been mad at people for being mean to him before, but I have a kind of rage that most people don't. He went crazy, got on a train, and rode away."

"Wow..."

"Well, we've reached Pinesville." Resetti and Yuka jumped out of the ground. and looked around. It was indeed the town's square, by the bulletin board. In the distance was the train station, grimly reminding Yuka of the cat. The sun was setting quickly.

"Look, what you should do is run home and lock all your doors. I don't wanna scare you, but Rover is a dangerous guy. There's not much I can do but tell you to watch out."

"Oh, don't worry. Chuck is protecting me!"

Resetti looked around nervously. "Well, hurry home, anyway. Good luck. Now...SCRAM!" With that, he popped back underground, filling his hole in.


	5. Security

The second Mr. Resetti had burrowed away, Yuak started running straight home. Killer cats, angry moles...this was all too much! She was about halfway there when she ran into Blanca.

"Yuka! It's me, Blanca! The cat you met on the train! I just moved in here!"

"Oh, hello, Blanca. I'm in a rush to get home."

"Alright. Well, I'll be seeing you."

It was night by the time Yuka reached her home by the sea. Chuck was waiting, as he had finished installing all the security devices.

"Okay, everything's good here," he said. "The power generator and the wires are my house, 'cause I knew that little miss perfect wouldn't want ugly stuff like that in her house."

"You're right. I wouldn't. So are the burglar alarms on?"

"Yep."

"The locks are installed?"

"Uh-huh."

"The police are on speed-dial?"

"Sure are."

"The walkie-talkies to your house are hooked up?"

"Yeah."

Meanwhile, In Chuck's house, a cat figure was watching them on a TV screen.

"I even installed some cameras around so I can see that you're okay from my place," said Chuck on the screen.

"Well, you've done your work," Yuka told him. "Now go home."

"So you're not gonna thank me?"

Yuka walked inside. "No. Now, stop hanging around here. I need some sleep," she said as she slammed the door in his face.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Yuka watched Chuck disappear in the snow which was now falling very hard out the window. As he disappeared from sight, she quickly locked all her doors.

"Hmmph," growled Chuck as he passed a couple of other houses. The lights were all out, and he knew that those lucky animals were all asleep without a care in the world in their nice warm houses. "It's bad enough that I had to do all that work without any thanks. Now I need to go home in the freezing cold snow and darkness...it's what I get for being such a nice guy..." Chuck continued home in the dark, still grumbling.

Down by the station, Officer Copper had finally gotten a break from his busy job and was listening to K.K. Slider play a song.

"_**Weh me ohh! Oh, weh me oh oh! Mee now me me-nah me ahh..."**_

"Help! Eek eek!" came Porter's voice.

Copper looked down on the tracks to see Porter tied up. "Porter! What is this?"

"It's Rover! He's back!"

"Good lord! I'd better call Booker!"

* * *

How...dramatic. 


	6. Rover Vs Everyone

Chuck was still stomping home. Mr. Resetti popped out of the ground in front of him. "Are you Chuck?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"I heard that you're protecting Yuka. I just gotta warn you. Rover is willing to go through anyone in his way."

"You're a creepy little mole guy who popped out of the ground and started talking to me. Rover sounds crazy, but I'm gonna be fine." With that, Chuck continued walking. Resetti followed him.

Back at the tracks, Booker had arrived. "So...why am I here...?"

"Booker, Rover is in town," Copper told him. "I think that you should go down to check on Chuck. I'll go see Yuka."

Booker lumbered away. The train's whistle was heard in the distance. Porter looked at himself and realized that he was still tied up. "HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME! EEK EEK!"

"Oops."

Meanwhile, Resetti was still talking to Chuck. "Don't leave! I mean it! I'll even lend you my pickaxe! Rover is trying to kill you!"

"I might get the urge to kill you if you don't get lost!" Chuck wasn't sure why this mole and Yuka were making such a big deal about some stupid cat. And his house was a few feet away! Why couldn't this mole just get lost?

"Look, if you don't hear me out, I'll go into one of my fits of rage!" warned the mole. "You don't want that!"

"Bug off."

"You asked for it...I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, BUT YOU'RE BEING A BIG JERK! MAYBE I'LL LET ROVER KILL YOU! MAYBE I'LL LET HIM KILL YUKA! HE'S THE CRAZIEST, ANGRIEST GUY YOU'VE EVER MET!"

There was an awkward pause. Chuck was actually shocked. "I think you're the craziest, angriest guy I've ever met."

"Oh, forget it!" sighed Resetti, giving up. "Now...SCRAM!" Resetti popped back into his hole. He had tried. It was Chuck's funeral now.

"What a freak," Chuck said to himself as he headed into his house...into the darkness.

Meanwhile, Copper was on the tracks untiing Porter. He had to hurry, because the train was coming fast.

"Untie me! Untie me!"

"I am! I am!"

With a cartoonish splat, the train hit them. They were soon plastered to the front of the train, driving through the tunnel out of Pinesville. So much for stopping Rover.

"Well, we're alive," said Copper.

"I'm not so sure about me..." replied Porter.

Chuck sat down in his house. Security devices littered the place, blocking most of his nice green furniture. He couldn't even get into his bed. With an agonized sigh, Chuck threw himself down into a chair, watching the video feed of Yuka in her house.

"Okay. I'm a bored, dazed guy who needs some sleep. But NO...I've gotta sit around and watch Yuka sleep. The idea of watching your neighbor sleep feels somewhat dirty to me..."

The screen suddenly changed to a video of Rover's face! Things were definitely getting weird. "Don't think dirty thoughts, Chuck," said the smiling cat.

"WHAT!"

"At last we meet face-to-face."

"Well, you're on a TV screen, so..."

"Actually, I'm right behind you," a voice said in Chuck's ear. Suddenly, out of the darkness, wires wrapped around Chuck from behind.


	7. Even More Rover

"Well, Booker is on the case," sighed Copper as the train with them on it continued chugging away. "At least we know that...Or he could be sleeping..."

Chuck found himself tied completely up with all the wire from that stupid stuff Yuka bought. Rover must have slipped in before Chuck had left his acre, and had hid there throughout the night.

"Relax, Chuck," said Rover. "I'm not going to kill you. You will feel a bit of discomfort, however. It's Yuka I'm really after. I knew that Copper would get hit by that train with Porter. Perhaps they survived it. And if he didn't, well, I've got a few less worries in the world. As you can see, I've unplugged most of Yuka's security. I've left the TV on so you can watch me do her in. I'm a whiz with electricity, you know."

"I talked to Resetti! I know that---"

"RESETTI'S HERE!" Rover now looked as made as that mole had a few minutes ago.

"I didn't say much to him, but he knows you're here! He's probably at Yuka's house right now, protecting her! He's---"

"SHUT UP!" Rover plugged one of the wires in, electrocuting Chuck. "That won't kill you, but it will make you unable to help in any way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to pay a certain koala a visit to do a certain thing before a certain groundhog shows up."

"S-s-stop saying certain!" Chuck barely whispered through the voltage.

"Eh, shut up, bacon bits!" Rover ran outside to do his "certain something."

The train, meanwhile, was now passing through the Mushroom Kindom.

"We'll never get back to Pinesville in time!" cried Copper.

"Look! A P-wing! Eek eek!" Porter managed to grab the wing and become Racoon Porter. "Look! I'm a mixed breed! Get it? I'm a monkey and a---"

"Not now! Fly us back to Pinesville and hurry!"

Meanwhile, Rover was walking to Yuka's house with a demented smile. He passed a snowman sitting in the path.

"Hey, buddy!" called the chilly guy. "I bet I could be the most popular guy in town, if I had legs."

Without a word, Rover knocked over the snowman and continued walking.

"Thanks a lot, jerk!" called the frosty man.

Porter and Copper flew through the sky. They passed Kirby on a warp star with a star rod.

"Hey, Porter!" he called. "I didn't know you were a mixed breed!"

"See? Kirby gets the joke!"

The Star Warrior smiled. "Well, I gotta go, know. I have to fight an evil nightmare trying to take over Dreamland."

"Oh," said an embarrassed Copper. "We're just after an insane cat."

"Well, as long as it's good against evil."

The Nightmare flew up to Kirby and zapped him, knocking him out of the sky. "Star warrior down! Star warrior down!"

Yuka was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when she got a knock at the door. She sat up and started for the phone to call the police. All she got was the sound of Booker snoring. "Whoever you are, get lost! Crazy Redd said that no one could get through this STEEL DOOR that he sold me!"

The door fell down.

"God, I hate that guy."

In walked...Blanca? "Blanca? What are you doing here?"

"There is no Blanca," said the cat as she pulls her face off. It was a mask! Under that blank face, it was Rover. "Ha! Blanca was just a way of me getting to you! It also gave me a chance to wear women's clothing."

"Yes, could you please take off the dress?"

"Fine...now, where was I? Oh, yeah! I was about to kill you!"

"Great..."

* * *

Am I the only one who gets annoyed at the snowman? I always manage to screw him up! 


	8. The Great Animal Crossing Caper

Porter and Copper landed by the station. Booker had woken up, and remebering vaguely what he was supposed to do, had lumbered back.

"Can I go back to work now?" asked Porter.

"If you must. Booker and I will be off to Chuck's house. Hurry, Booker!"

"Oh, um, sure. Yeah, let's go..."

At his house, Chuck was still getting zapped. "T-T-This actually feels kinda good."

Copper and Booker ran in and pulled the plug.

"Copper! Booker! Rover is at Yuka's house! Look!"

The three of them looked at the video screen of Yuka's house and saw Rover tying her to a big-screen TV.

"Odd!" said Copper. "Why is he tying her to a TV?"

Chuck remembered what Rover had told him: "I'm a whiz with electricity..."

"Oh my God! We've gotta get to Yuka's house! And fast!"

They ran out the door when Mr. Resetti popped up, almost tripping them.

"Take one of my tunnels!"

"Um, can I not go...?" yawned Booker.

"Fine," sighed Copper.

Booker fell asleep in Chuck's bed instantly.

"Hey! I don't want that thing on my bed!"

"No time! Into his deep brown hole! They jumped in.

"Does anyone else think that that sounded dirty?" asked Chuck.

Rover calmly carried Yuka to the ocean.

"Good thing this TV had a long extension cord!" he said as he watched the sea basses swim deeper.

"Rover! Stop!" called a voice. Rover whirled around to see Resetti, Chuck, and Copper. He pointed a finger "Invader Zim"-style at the mole.

"YOU! You're the reason that I ended up this way! Well, now Yuka is gonna pay for it! I'm gonna drop her in the ocean and she'll be electrocuted!"

Rover throws Yuka into the ocean. But before anything bad could happen to Yuka, her friends pulled on the extension cord, saving her life. She dangled inches above the water until they had pulled her to the shore.

"Ha!" laughed Chuck. "It's three against one! Let's get him!"

Resetti refused. "Not me! Rover's still my friend! Now...SCRAM!" Resetti ducked back into his hole.

"Oh," said Copper. "Well, two against one is still good."

"Yeah, I better be leaving," said the cat nervously. He ran to the dock where Capp'n was sitting with a boat. "Hey! Turtle guy! Get me outta here!"

"Capp'n! Don't do it!" called Copper.

"I'll give you a cucumber!"

"Now yer talkin'! Hop aboard!" Rover jumped in the boat and they rowed away across the sea. That cat had certainly proved to be a worthy foe.

Copper grimly watched the boat disappear into the fog. "Rover has escaped. I fear that he'll keep riding the train, no matter what I say. He'll be back...sometime."

"What a dumb setup for a sequel."

With a sigh, Copper started back towards his police station. "Well, I best be going home now. I can't believe that Capp'n took that bribe."

"What are you talking about? You always take bribes!"

"Do not!"

"Yeah you do."

"I DO NOT!"

The two continued to argue and walked away leaving Yuka tied up. Kirby landed by her. "Star warrior down! STAR WARRIOR DOWN!"

THE END


End file.
